My Birthday

It's my 29th birthday today.

I feel like all my juices have been sucked dry, except for the physiological ones.

Lately montreal has been getting me down. I appreciate its beauty but on a very superficial and jaded way.

I biked through the plateau in back lanes today, discovering that many montreal back lanes are just in fact small leafy residential avenues.

As I approached the end of this particular path I was riding upon, I stumbled upon a shrine to the virgin Mary. A sculpture of her divine maternal self lounging in this backlane. Her regal face was illuminated by the crisp September sun and her robes fell to her feet in such softness I felt it could have been made of silk or angora (so she wouldn't be cold).

Her gaze was still amidst the graffiti on brick walls behind her and there were petunias planted at her feet.

But it didn't inspire awe in me. Nothing inspires awe in me these days.

It's as if I'm seeing a re-run episode of all the new events in my life. My current experiences don't provoke any extreme emotions no matter how beautiful they may be.

Sometimes it seems to me that cities are this gargantuous monster that eats up trees and rocks and just pukes out disorganized puddles of derelict housings and shops.

But I have to say, whatever is the nature of the Montreal monster, it is in no way comparable to the Toronto monster. Therein exists the drone of smog and traffic, accepted grime and dust, which are all part of its delinquent charm.

It all doesn't really matter to me because im 29 and free. The world is supposedly at my disposal. And yet I'm uttering the words that I never thought would cross my lips.."I might move to Toronto".

Does Mary live there too?