you haven't passed blue (in swimming class), part three

You haven't passed blue
in swimming class

And you cant be
the silver certificate
who saves me
if i drown

Tell me,
is the ocean a woman?

I know she's stronger than me
I have attempted to pay hommage to her tides
in the past

but that was somehow
not enough for her

It all came down to
muscle against muscle
carbon against water

I didn't succeed

I struggled
panicked
Heart slamming against my ribs
I couldn't breathe

Little fishes biting my toes
just disappeared
no silver certificate around for miles

But then
by chance it seemed
she brought me back to shore

The water goddess
can of course
create
and destroy

It suddenly dawned on me
That I haven't passed blue
and you can't be
the silver certificate
who would save me
if I drown