Buzz

You watch the football and explain its principles. The tv screen buzzes bright or dim or double vision depending on how we adjust the antennae. It's an ongoing joke, really. Sometimes I wonder how long it will be until I succumb to getting a cable subscription. Because I heard that the TLC channel is awesome. Great for when you get home from work and your brain is so tired from dealing with PEOPLE. Then you get to empty your brain and have it filled by stories of fake PEOPLE that you can make fun of and gossip about without having to feel guilty about it since they're not even real. Where does this fascination stem from?

The days are getting longer now. I can tell because it's 5pm and its not dark yet. it's so surreal the way my brain and body suffer because of lack of light. it's like a whole system that is constantly re-updating and resetting itself without me knowing about it. I get a pain in my head. Must have been the beer. I get dry skin, must drink more water. God forbid I should be sick. Maybe its cancer, maybe its stress.

Then I keep having dreams about animals. Dreamt I was in a car with my family in the woods and a wolf was following our car. We stopped to look at it, he was silver big and strong. Then a big brown bear came out of the woods and attacked the wolf. I told my dad to drive away, but before we could the bear tore into the wolf and bit his ear off with all the blood and gore. And then I was out of the car, flying above the woods so I could see that the land we were on was just part of this maze of islands. I was flying around trying to find a good place to land.

i'm sorry i'm tired

You said
It had nothing
to do
with me
your daughter
needs medicine
i said
i understood

but yet
here you are
in my face
and your face
with your
crooked moustache
and your
curled lips
you wanted
to direct it
somewhere
and now

i'm angry

i couldn't help
but think
you were wrong
in some way

and then
I didn't
zero
the pumps

i'm sorry
i'm so tired