slow road to recovery

yesterday my friend psychoanalyzed me
he was compiling data
in the name of science
or so he said

I was a good candidate
I would tell him anything he asked
and he praised me for being such an open book
cleaning the slate
empyting my head

I let the good and the ugly fall from my mouth
between cigarettes
breathing smoke rings
until my breath got all sucked out

Some gifts I kept
just to have a warm secret
for me to revel in
while I was in my slow recovery

and

some demons I kept
just to have a sleazy leer
for me to glance at
over my shoulder
when I went walking after dark

but then there was something different
in the way I arranged objects around my house
the air stayed stagnant until today
and all things felt so empty

because you summarized it all into two sentences
and when I was wasn't looking
they documented it all with ten photographs

so now i'm wondering
how i'm ever going to recover myself again

Grace...grace

Was it all for

24 hours
of show
solace
or grace

Was it all for

56 minutes
of relief
from pain

(The snow is coming)

Was it all for

Pheremones
love
hate
and whatever it is that connects the two

and Grace