The World of Anita: November 2005

Smoking

So, many people have asked me, have you quit smoking yet? Have you started again? As I discreetly steal out the back door and puff to my hearts content, only to wake up he next morning with an unbearably sore throat.

The tobacco companies have an ingenious recipe for becoming millionaires, market a legal drug that is highly addictive and associate some glamour with it. Once people are addicted, and as long as it is a socially accepted habit, they just keep coming back for more. How twisted!

My excuse? The booze I suppose. It's only when I have a few drinks that I fully know what its like to be addicted to a drug. It's actually a strange phenomena if you've never experienced it. My body tenses up, and if there's a cigarette in the room, my gaze is fixated upon it and i cannot look away. All thoughts are centered upon how and when I can get a smoke, cost becomes no issue, previous concerns about my health now somehow seem trivial and paranoid. Is it me thinking these silly thoughts?

Well, of course you say, or course its you, who else could it be? Of course, I know that all the thoughts going on in my head come from my own brain, there's no denying that. I'm not crazy, or at least i don't think I am. However, I do think that there can be many different inner dialogues going on inside your head, in my case they're all me, all Anita voices, it's just they dont always agree with each other all the time. Normal right?

But it's only now, when I've decided to quit that I can actually differentiate between two distinct voices going back and forth in my consiousness whenever I'm having a nicotine craving. The voice that is me, Anita, and the voice that is nicotine.

Here is the typical argument that goes on when I'm trying to decide whether to smoke or not.

nicotine: Man, sure would be nice to have a smoke right now

Anita: (Sigh), yep sure would, oh well, I don't smoke anymore remember? It's bad for my health, you know.

nicotine: You can just have one, one cigarette can't hurt you! You smoke joints all the time, what difference can one cigarette a weekend make?

Anita: Well....maybe I could just have one...actually, no, I just have to distract myself with something else right now, I promised myself I wasn't going to smoke, so I'm not going to!

nicotine: There's a pack of cigarettes on top of the fridge, you can go out the back door, nobody has to know about it...

Anita: I'm not going to smoke goddammit! What does it matter if nobody knows about it? I wish I had never touched a cigarette my whole life, I wish they were illegal! Wiped off the face of this earth! I'm not going to smoke, are you that stupid to think I would fall for that!...but actually, all this talk about smoking is making me want to have a cigarette, after all one is not that big of a deal...

nicotine: There's one on top of the fridge..

And this is how it goes.

It's my second attempt at quitting, which should be more successsful than my first. I'm more equipped to deal with temptaion as it comes in all its different forms, but has always the same essence to it, the cunning and evil ways of nicotine!

Mount Royal

This is the famous view from Mount Royale. There's lots of memories on this mountain, once we were actually planning on making a little shack out of twigs and spending the night up here. We decided against it, thinking that the hobos would probably find us and try to move in with us.

Winter

Today it snowed so much, but suprisingly I wasn't dissapointed at all. After years of complaining, I am actually enjoying the snow.

Brrrrr!

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia

Here we are, the famous lighthouse image that seems to symbolize the East Coast of Canada.

We explored the terrain...

...and we jumped along the rocks.

Most of the time, the sun looks just a bright flash of light, but of course its more than that.

The sun is a massively big, hot, firey orb in our galaxy. What if we could somehow travel to the sun (without getting scorched) so that we could fully realize how small and weak we are in comparison.

Before we left, we saw about 20 seals splashing and playing in the waves. They looked at us and seemes to be curious. That was my first time to see seals in the wild.

They seemed intelligent, someone told me that they're alot like dogs. Maybe a cross between a fish and a dog? Fish-dog. Dog-fish.
hmmmm...

Twister in Halifax!

Wanna know how to spice up any dull party? Just whip out a box of Twister!

This was one of the many moments of hilarity where I had to choose between straining my head in a very uncomfortable position or putting it in Laurel's crotch.

Fragmented

People are weird.

vegetables for mermaids

I found this amazing looking cauliflower at the weekly market. Nature creates some weird things doesn't it.

In your opinion, whats the craziest thing that nature has ever produced? Consciousness?

Or wait, did consiousness produce nature???

The Haunted Church

Don't know what got into me with this one. I guess I've been in a dark mood lately. I know Halloween was almost a month ago but you know, there sure are alot of graveyards around here...

Brighter things promised for the future. You need a little darkness now and then.

Across the country

It's a great thing when you can sit on a train alone for 24 hours reading, sleeping, eating, listening to music, doing crossword puzzles,
staring out the window and never feel bored once.